Rainy Days are a commin' to London Town

Today it is raining in London Town. Not heavy tropical (interesting) rain but that wonderfully British grey drizzle that this country is so famous for. When the weather is this crappy, I really only feel like bedding down for the day under the duvet with a box of jaffa cakes and a historical novel about the Tudor royal family. But since I am working for my bacon as an administrator and have battled with our huge, but ineffectual, printer at least four times this morning, lying down in a bed and gorging on chocolate is not really an option (although highly desirable). The next best thing to lying in bed is lying in a hot bath and after that, blogging (the mental equivalent of cosying up your brain into some warm and comforting thoughts).

It rains a lot in London. During Autumn at least. In fact it was raining so hard last week, one of my students asked if this was the start of the 'English monsoon season.' Since he came from Thailand (where they do have seasonal rains), this was not a wholly ridiculous question. I explained to him, that as an island, we have some pretty strange weather year round and that it is not unusual for it to rain in the middle of June. In fact, a dear friend of mine, who is planning her wedding in May next year, has to seriously consider the weather if she wants to do something outdoors even though it will be Spring and should be lovely and sunny. As a rule, you always need a backup plan if you want to plan an outdoor event in the UK. Weddings need tents, picnics get moved indoors, festivals are enjoyed in a sea of mud and marathons are completed in the wind and rain. All year round!

This of course brings me to the fact that in England, the weather is the default subject of conversation. Whenever you feel the need to make small talk in the UK to break an awkward silence (as you have probably guessed, most silences for me are awkward), then bringing up the subject of the weather is excellent idea. 'Rainy day we're having eh?' 'My, it is muggy and humid today!' 'Och aye, looks like a storm is a commin'!' All great starters for a chat with someone who you don't know that well, or someone you actually don't like, but are thrown into spending time with. 


Funnily enough, I have had the best 'weather-chats' in various different lifts and elevators. I have an odd habit of speaking to strangers in lifts. There is something about spending time in a confined normally solitary space that makes me need to blurt out the most ridiculous things. Once you ask the individual in question which floor they want to go to, and then press the relevant floor button, I feel that this little exchange is the introduction to a mini conversation that should be continued. I once commented on the weather in the elevator of a bookshop I used to work in.
'Which floor would you like?' I asked 
'Number 2 please.' A middle-aged man replied stepping into the lift.
'Ah. Number 2.' I press the button and wait nervously as the lift jerks to life and moves slowly upwards. I twitch. Then I say, 'Awful weather we are having.'
'Yes, indeed.' He replies amiably
'I bet if we did not have the Thames Barrier, the river would flood' (what did I say that for!) 'Half of London would be underwater...with all this rain I mean...in fact this bookshop would be submerged....the books would be floating about...what a waste of reading material eh?!'
The man nods in a freaked-out sort of way and quickly exits the lift at level 2.

This habit has led to me meeting quite a few people in lifts. Recently I made friends with a member of faculty in the lift at work. He actually thought I was a PhD student, which pleased me no end. I must look clever! I thought with glee. I once got asked out on a date in an elevator. The guy invited me for dinner. But since he was the local homeless alcoholic on Charring Cross Road who used to frequent the bookstore I worked in, it was not that promising an offer. I declined as gently as I could. 'I'm not allowed to date,' I told him. 'My father forbids it.'
'Bastard!' he replied. I nodded sympathetically and directed him towards his favourite bookshop section: The car manuals.

I did also have one man in a lift offer to paint my portrait for me. He was a graphic artist. 'You would make a perfect Elf or Air Sprite.' he said handing me a card with raunchy sketches of dwarves and fairies on it. I again politely declined, explaining that my imaginary boyfriend would probably not like it. 

I also once calmed down a claustrophobic student in a lift that got stuck in the lift shaft at a student halls of residence. We waited for the engineer to rescue us by discussing which meal served in the halls canteen we hated most. She really thought the porridge and powdered eggs were bad, my worst dish was the deep fried blue cheese tortellini.

But aside from spending time in a lift during bad weather, one of the things I love to do best when it rains is go to a museum. London is filled with some of the world's best museums! And I strongly urge everyone to go visit them before the Conservatives win the next general election and cut the funding for the arts even more and start charging us all for entrance fees. My favourite museum suggestions this week are:

• The Science Museum, specifically...the Cockroach Tour of the Science Museum! I am actually not massively fond of cockroaches (although really, who does like them?). But who would pass up the chance to dress up as one and walk around a museum?! Sounds fun eh! More details can be found: here (the video can be viewed above)

• The Museum of London! This is the place to expertly explore London as a city with a gallery devoted to the Georgian pleasure gardens, re-created Victorian cobbled streets, prehistoric London artefacts and remnants from the Roman town of 'Londinium.' Held in the ugly and yet uber retro 60s building complex, The Barbican, the museum has a great shop and a nice cafe that serves great soup in the winter. Actually there is the burnt ruins of the city walls of Londinium in the parking garage of the Barbican - burnt and scorched by a siege of the city during Boudica's attack (she was Queen of the British tribe Iceni who rebelled against the Romans who were being quite unreasonable at the time). Best of all the Museum of London is free! (except for a few special exhibitions) http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/

• The Welcome Collection! The Welcome Collection is a museum with a difference. It advertises itself as 'a free destination for the incurably curious' and certainly houses a whole host of strange objects and scientific curiosities. This month a new exhibition has opened at the Institute called 'Superhuman,' all about the commonplace human enhancements that we take for granted. The exhibition takes a broad and playful look at our obsession with being the best we can be. Items on display range from an ancient Egyptian prosthetic toe to a packet of Viagra, alongside contributions from artists and scientists, ethicists and commentators. http://www.wellcomecollection.org/

• And for luck....The National Portrait Gallery! A great art gallery filled with fantastic portraits of pretty much every famous monarch, statesman, actor, journalist, writer, artist, scientist and musician that has lived in Britain in the last four centuries. A perfect game to play on a rainy afternoon is to go to the gallery and guess who the portrait is without looking at the label. 'Is it Prince Charles?' 'Nope it is Iggy Pop!' 'I think it is Charles Dickens!' 'Nope it is Gladstone.' I am actually better at this game than this of course, as I know what all the above four people look like! http://www.npg.org.uk

So there you are! Lots of little treasure troves of interest for a rainy day in ol' London Town!